blog You Matter

You Matter ❤️ Judgemental

This week I felt torn about whether to talk about judgmental or empathy. Two very different mindsets and two very connected mindsets.  I am going to focus in on judgmental with a good healthy dose of empathy thrown in. These days we need more empathy and less judgmental😊

Judgmental is a critical, fault-finding, condemning, disapproving point of view according to the dictionary online. Pretty much all humans have a judgmental side. Our valuable brains are hardwired for survival and hardwired to have more negativity than positivity. Too often in the world around us regardless of our efforts and accomplishments we, and others, feel there is more that can be done, it isn’t perfect ( what is perfect anyway), you did not try your hardest, ECT!

So let me ask you this. If a child your know, perhaps your child, a niece, nephew, little brother, little sister, or a friends child gives you a finger painted picture filled with scribbles, mixed colors and you do not know that the heck it is how do you respond? Do you tell them it sucks and to try harder? Do you criticize the painting? Or do you compliment them and this picture describing all the beautiful qualities in the picture.

We can override the negativity plasticity of our brains with positive messages and hardwire our brains to be more positive. Yes we can! So let’s go back to being judgmental. Ponder for a moment the self-talk messages you say to yourself and about others. Is your brain talk positive, affirming, strong, cheerleading to yourself? How about what you say and think about others?

I used to be a judgmental person about myself and about others. In my head I was the why didn’t I do more, I screwed something up, I should have ….🤮 What I thought, and said, about others reflected my own inner crappy judgements. I was lacking empathy for myself and lacking empathy for others. One day I had enough of what I was thinking and saying about me. I got sick of the negative. I decided it was time to change.

To change this I became very aware of my inner thoughts and my outer words. In my thinking thoughts if I was judgmental about myself or someone else I would counteract with a positive. With my spoken language I worked diligently to only use strength based, empathic, positive words about myself and others REGARDLESS of what my brain was saying.

Because I had been a negative thinking, judgmental, critical person for a LONG time this change required daily work, daily effort, and daily forgiveness. I was NOT going to do this perfectly every day. I was going to regress at times.  Yet just like a little kid painting a picture I was doing my best⭐️

Ready for some GREAT news! The work I did on myself helped me to have more positive brain plasticity and less negative. YEP🎉 I am kinder, more confident, more empathic to myself. These feelings about myself have created a powerful ripple to what I say and how I support others.  I am much more empathic to everyone and the judgmental part of me continues to fade away!

I feel so free, light, serene, peaceful💜 I feel GREAT!

There is a beautiful quote that says “everyone you meet is fighting their own battle so be kind”.

Guess what? That includes you❤️

So begin with working on your thoughts and your words. About yourself and about others. Those changes will FORCE your amazing brain to be more hardwired to the positive. It will require consistent work, consistent effort, and to be gentle to yourself when you mess up. As human beings we mess up🤩 You are only human just like the rest of us!

A little more kindness and a LOT less judgment! All of powerful, unique glorious, smart  you that your bring to the world is needed. EVERYONE around you benefits from your you😊

Dr. Seuss said it best. “Today you are you and that is truer that true. There is no one alive that is youer than you”.

Thank you for being your you and bringing your specialness to the world💝

 

 

 

 

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