blog You Matter

You Matter ❤️ Quiet

Right now as I am writing this except for the sounds from the keyboard as I type and the snores from Harry the dog there is quiet in my world. For a moment I stop typing, absorbing the nothing. As I put my attention into the silence my mind gets quieter. It seems as if I am becoming one with the couch (and this is not from too much couch surfing).  Peace envelops me. Today let’s look at quiet.

My definition of quiet is that it is nothingness. No sound. Quiet is, well quiet. In the world we live in there tends to be lots of sounds and noise. No matter what you are doing at any point in time it seems sound will accompany your experience. The technology at our fingertips give everyone the ability to always be listening to something.

In a world that can be filled with all sorts of sounds from people to pets from trains to cars we live in a world where ongoing sounds are a part of our day to day living. Sometimes when there is quiet in a conversation individuals can get uncomfortable with the silence so they talk to fill the quiet space. All of us at some point or the other has become uneasy with quiet so we fill it. Our opportunity for quiet is filled with sounds of music, media something on tv or talking to someone.

What about the power of being silent, quiet?

In an article by Dr. Bob Wright 2013 he states “Not only does your positive, silent presence make a huge difference in how others feel with you and how they respond, but research shows that it also impacts the quality of information you receive from others. When your silence conveys a positive attitude—through smiling, nodding, open body position—people use more interpretive abstract language, go deeper into the conversation, and they share their opinions more openly. If your silent presence is frowning and more closed, speakers tend to be more careful and analytic and only share concrete, descriptive facts”.

Yes how you interact and respond to others by engaging in a quiet way can make a difference.  Rumi said “the quieter you become the more you are able to hear”. Perhaps more of us need to be quiet. Perhaps we need to get more comfortable with quiet on an individual level.

My profession which I am so honored to be in is all about the talking. As a therapist how people learn and grow is through an exchange of thoughts, ideas, feelings. I have learned through working on being more comfortable with quiet in my day to day living is that some of the more powerful moments with my clients occurred when I was quiet when we are working through an issue. Making a choice to let the feeling of what they were talking about sit in silence opened a higher level of understanding, connections, peace.

For myself I have thoughtfully make changes to enjoy more quiet. In the beginning just being with myself and the thoughts in my head was awkward. I persevered with having quiet become part of my day to day routine. The more I practiced quiet in my life the more my thoughts became  quiet. I became more in tune with me. Taking time clear my head space of all the chatter of the world grounded me. Just by practicing some quiet a little bit every day.

Little changes can make a big difference!

Here are some of the actions I take for my quiet:

  1. Walk my dogs with no music, no talking or looking at the phone.
  2. Drive in my car with no music, talking on the phone, and or listening to a podcast.
  3. In my house have moments of no music, tv, talking on the phone.
  4. Sometimes before I enter my home after listening to music on my way home I sit in my car silently for a minute before I enter.
  5. Sometimes I head outdoors and sit quietly.
  6. I have been thoughtful about talking less and listening more in all areas of my life. By taking this action I feel more grounded and present in all of my relationships. I am less scattered. More in control of what I say and I what I do. This feels GREAT⭐️

So most fantastic humans you deserve some precious quiet. To take a moment for yourself without the worldly chatter filling up all the spaces in your mind. You are the only you that will ever be. Take great care of the human you are.

May your quiet be with you💜

Photo by Dignzeyu Li on Upslash.

 

 

 

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