The word strong means “possessing mental strength, not easily broken, having a resolute will or morally firm character” according to Dictionary. com. Together is “in one gathering, mass, place, body: to call the people together, into or in union, proximity, contact or collision” also by Dictionary.com. Together can also be described as being confident, level-headed and well-organized.
While in our day to day existence we are independent’s, completing many of life’s tasks and to-do’s in a solo manner. There are also times when having another person (or more than one) by your side, working in unity increases our strength and our power.
Recently after a zoom work meeting I reached out to say hello to a co-worker and to see how she is doing. She shared that she had packed up her house all by herself because she was moving. She said how difficult it was to do. If I had know I would have helped, and I know other people from work would have helped too. Sometimes when we are struggling human tendency can be to not ask for help. The reasons we don’t ask for help can be that we don’t want to be seen as weak, incompetent, or unable. Asking for help is a vulnerable action to take because it exposes a part of us that is struggling. It’s scary. This is what I know about my co-worker. If anyone needed any help she would have been there to help without hesitation and without judgement. In a Psychology Today article “Why asking for help is so hard to do” by Lisa Ferentz, LCSW-C, DAPA she talks about your childhood family values of “doing it yourself” versus “letting others in”.
Years ago when I was struggling emotionally or otherwise I would keep it all bottled in. I would not ask for help in any way, shape, or form. Nope that would not happen. I felt if I asked for help it meant I was incompetent and unable to handle what life was throwing my way. It meant I was a failure. I don’t know when the change happened or why, yet I began to reach out to my circle of people around me when I needed help. I began to share my vulnerabilities with people I love, trusted and I knew had my best interest at heart. It was such a relief that I did not have to do everything on my own. I felt stronger knowing there others who were there to help me. Research has demonstrated that giving and helping has a positive impact on our mind and body. We became stronger together when I asked for help and support because in helping me is was helping them.
Dan Taspcott who is a business executive, author, consultant in the “The Wisdom of a Crowd – How We are Smarter & Stronger Together” a Mutual Responsibility article said:
“I’ve been studying nature recently… starlings in the area around Edinburgh, in the moors of England… at night they come together and they create one of the most spectacular things in all of nature, and it’s called a murmuration… this thing has a function; it protects the birds. You can see on the right here, there is a predator being chased away by the collective power of the birds. Apparently this is a frightening thing if you are a predator of starlings. And, there’s leadership, but there’s no one leader.
Now is this some kind of fanciful analogy, or can we actually learn something from this?
.. this is a huge collaboration, it’s an openness, it’s a sharing of all kinds of information, not just about location and trajectory and danger and so on, but about food sources. And, there’s a real sense of interdependence, [that] the individual birds somehow understand that their interests are in the interest of the collective.”
So what if we as humans used our mutual wisdom, smarts, and strengths to help one another all the time. It does not mean we need to give up our individual identities or sense of self. Yet we use our collective ideas and thoughts to help, support, guide, and protect one another. I have read more that one story where a group of strangers worked together to turn over a car or take some other action to save a life, or when people came together to help in numerous significant ways which resulted in significantly helping others. I was in a protest last week where there were lots of people handing out water and snacks to the protesters. It made a difference. It helped me and all the other protestors keep hydrated and have some food in our bellies. No one can do it all. So what if we all became more vulnerable, letting our guards down, blending all the smart, crafty, compassionate, caring ideas from each other to help each other be the best we can be. That we see interdependence as a positive that makes us stronger together so we could help and support each other. What a world that would be!
May you be stronger together💜
Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash