This morning I became super jazzed when I figured out how I was going to complete a few actions on my to do list. My energy soared and I felt a sense of accomplishment. They were some things that had been lingering in my brain and had some value to me.
“Figuring things out for yourself is the only freedom anyone really has.” Michael Ironside
If you think about it there is such power in figuring something out. Have you ever watched a child when they mastered learning to walk, tying their shoes, learning how to read? It is magical. This process, because it is a process, builds a sense of I can do this, instilling within a person pride and accomplishment.
Now do we need to figure everything out in our lives? Not at all. Yet for every single one of us there are goals or actions we want to take that are personal. For example if you want to begin running so you can compete in a race whether it be a 5k or a marathon you will need to take steps to work towards this goal. A few months ago I watched a movie called “Brittany Runs A Marathon” where events in her life lead Brittany to train to run in the New York City marathon. Things did not happen for her in an easy way and there were many hurdles. Yet Brittany did not give up and she soared when she finished the marathon.
Sometimes when we are problem solving and working through an idea it can be helpful to ask for help from others. Yesterday at my home we needed to move a heavy, solid wood. computer hutch into the garage and move some other pieces of furniture around. There were four of us. We brainstormed and came up with a brilliant plan to get the hutch into the garage and then move the other furniture pieces. When we were done all of us expressed some superhero confidence. By sharing the credit for how the plan worked out, because we picked the best ideas from everyone, we were all the better for it.
“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” E.E. Cummings
If you are struggling with your self-confidence and feeling like you are unable to figuring anything out there are steps and actions you can take to change that. Keep in mind that just by showing up the best you can in your life can be huge, especially if you are struggling or have many challenges in your life. Give yourself credit for all the good you are doing!
In an article in Tiny Buddha by Lori Deschene “How to be more confident: Live the life of your dreams” she states:
“You didn’t come out of the womb unsure of your cry or insecure about your large umbilical cord. You came out blissfully unaware of external judgment, concerned only with your own experience and needs. I’m not suggesting that you should be oblivious to other people. It’s just that it may help to remember confidence was your original nature before time started chiseling away at it.
Once you developed a sense of self-awareness, you started forming doubts and insecurities about how other people saw you. You learned to crave praise and avoid criticism, and maybe you started getting down on yourself if you got more of the latter than the former.
When you start feeling unsure of yourself remember: we were all born with confidence, and we can all get it back if we learn to silence the thoughts that threaten it.”
That’s right. As Brenè Brown said “You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle BUT you are worthy of love and belonging.” We are born with a sense of curiosity and creativity as part of our gene pool. We are all imperfectly perfect. We all have the ability to “figure some things out” for ourselves. Years ago one of my friend’s was struggling with depression. Her husband, trying to be helpful, took care of some things she typically took care of. For her this did not help because it unintentionally made her feel more defeated. Even though she was struggling, the chores and such she typically did helped her to feel that she could accomplish something when many days she felt she could not do much.
“Confidence comes not from knowing you know everything, but from knowing you can handle what comes up.” Donn King
So where to start? Well sometimes you need to begin with the end in mind. For example we knew we wanted to get the super HEAVY hutch in the garage and worked in reverse. One of the things I wanted to figure out personally is that I wanted to buy my family Christmas gifts that also gave back to others. Years ago I was often a little late to work like a minute or two. I did not like the feeling. So I used the motivation that it was important to me to be on time to make small changes to help me conquer the problem I wanted to solve. Simply your solutions. If you make it too complicated it will probably not happen. Take small steps and build on them. Open your mind to all sorts of possible solutions. There is a saying that “you cannot dig a hole in different places by digging it deeper.” Sometimes the solution you come up with will be even better than you originally thought!
So most capable, skilled, intelligent person you’ve got this. Whatever you are figuring out you can figure it out. I believe in you!
May your figuring it out be with you💜