“Through your deepest wound, Light enters.” Healing Brave. In March of 2023 the deepest wound happened to Beth McBride and Carli Seymour when Bobby Dewbre, Beth’s son and Carli’s brother, was killed when crossing the highway after celebrating his 21st birthday. The person who struck and killed Bobby was driving drunk with a blood alcohol concentration (BAC) measuring 0.20%, which was more than double the legal limit. Bobby’s death paralyzed Beth, who couldn’t leave the house. A revolving door of people would come see her as they would grieve together. Carli went over every day to be with her mom, as being together brought some comfort in their suffering. One morning Carli was driving to her mom’s house around 7:00am. On her drive she passed a local bar with cars parked in the parking lot. An idea came to mind of thanking people who did not drive home after drinking with a gift card for a cup of coffee. Carli called her mom with this idea, setting into motion the Montana Bar Fairies (MBF), where they could channel their grief into activism while honoring Bobby’s memory.
“Every year, too many lives are lost to drunk driving in America. The Bar Fairies are on a mission to change that by promoting sober driving choices, DUI prevention, and community safety.” MBF
According to Mothers Against Drunk Driving, Montana received the lowest rating of all states, and is considered to be one of the worst states having the highest DUI fatalities and arrests, even though Montana is not alone with people being killed or injured due to the actions of an individual driving under the influence of alcohol. According to information from AI, “approximately 12,000 to 13,500 people die annually in the USA due to alcohol-impaired driving, accounting for roughly 30% of all traffic fatalities.” For Beth and Carli, Bobby’s death was one of these tragic deaths – something they want no other person to have to go through. These deaths are not a statistic, they are people whose tragic death tore apart the lives of people who cared about them.
“The Bar Fairies was founded in the memory of Bobby Dewbre, who lost his life to a repeat drunk driver. His family turned their grief into action, creating a grassroots movement.” MBF
Beth and Carli worked on the Bar Fairy process. In addition to the coffee gift card they would add a card that on one side said “Thank you for doing your part to keep our community safe by getting a sober ride home.” The other side of the card has the name and photo of a person killed by someone driving under the influence of alcohol, date of birth and date of death, and a brief description of how this person was killed. Caril’s brother is on some cards, along with other individuals who died as a result of someone driving drunk. Families give permission to have their loved one on a card. These deaths are personal. Many local coffee shops donate gift cards and the Bar Fairies raised funds to buy more. Carli and her mom are thoughtful and informative in their actions. What began as the two of them with help from some family and friends going out between 5am-6am weekend mornings to place cards on the drivers side door of cars parked by bars, has expanded to thirteen chapters in six different states. Chapters are given kits with guidelines on how to go out safely, how to vet volunteers, along with support from the regional director for the chapter in their city. Bar Fairies are grateful for drivers for doing the right thing. There have been times when someone who received a card reached out, resulting in meaningful conversations.
“What started as a small act of kindness – leaving coffee gift cards on cars left overnight at Flathead Valley, Montana bars-has grown into a nationwide movement advocating for stronger DUI laws and supporting families affected by drunk driving tragedies.” MBF
The Coffee Card initiative was the beginning of honoring Bobby’s life in meaningful, impactful ways. In 2025, two years after Bobby’s death. Bobby’s Law, HB267 was signed into law in Montana. This law seeks to “recognize a driver’s high blood alcohol concentration (BAC) in fatal accidents as inherent gross negligence.” Carli credited her mom for the tenacity, will power, and sheer bravery as she went to twelve hearings and gathered support from all political parties to get HB267 passed. This law sets the expectation, and also the detriment, that if someone is driving with an aggravated blood alcohol of .16 or more is arrested and convicted, they would spend a minimum of three years in jail. Other initiatives include Grief Outreach & Support where the Bar Fairies provide a platform to families who have lost a loved one due to drunk driving to “honor victims, share stories, and advocate for change.” Community Education & Events provide DUI awareness campaigns to partnering with local bars, as the Bar Fairies are “committed to changing the culture and providing resources for safe transportation.” At community events that involve alcohol they set up a booth where they hand out single use breathalyzer’s, provide education on how alcohol affects the body and give coffee gift cards to designated drivers. Carli shared that the grief from Bobby’s death is deep and dark. These initiatives help to process all of those enormous feelings, while hopefully preventing other families from experiencing the tragic loss of a loved one. She reflected upon the driver of the car that hit and killed Bobby, knowing they did not intend to kill Bobby and hoping that person is seeking help.
It is with honor we shine the Kindness Champion Spotlight on the incredible Montana Bar Fairies, founded in memory of Bobby Dewbre, who lost his life to a repeat drunk driver. To honor his life they turned their “grief into action” with “education, advocacy, and real action” changing the “culture around drinking and driving in Montana” and throughout the USA. We thank you for being you and bringing your awesomeness to the world.
For more information or to support Montana Bar Fairies (The Bar Fairies) here is their information:
Website: https://thebarfairies.org/
Instagram: @the_barfairies https://www.instagram.com/the_barfairies/
Facebook: @thebarfairies https://www.facebook.com/thebarfairies
Threads: @thebarfairies https://www.threads.com/@the_barfairies?xmt=AQG04kXvwILN1GTMEt3HmdBrRl8pcfsGJATEMjLGeFn3NQY
