Mahalo Original Peeps,
How are you this incredible fall day? I am a lover of fall. The crispness of the air, crunch of a delicious apple, cup of apple cider, and beautiful leaves is spectacular🍁 It is magical how all of nature, and humans as well, will change our patterns of how we live as the seasons change from one to another.
Last weekend we had a birthday party for my eldest daughter. It was a shhhh…surprise party as she was turning 30. Her spouse, myself, and her sister organized a delightful party with her closest family and friends at a lovely place to celebrate her.
A week or so before the party I was talking to a friend of mine who is a therapist in private practice. My friend was telling me about a mom she is counseling. The mom was on leave from work due to depression, has two teenage sons, is a single parent, and her mother is very sick. The mom/client of my friend did not have money to buy her sons school clothes. Her oldest son in high school did not have sneakers as he only has one pair of shoes, and there was no money to buy him ANYTHING. The mom had reached out to many resources and she either made too much or everything was gone. It was a horrible situation.
I decided at the party to take a moment to see if any of the guests would like to help. It did not matter if the help was financial, direction to another resource, or anything. Also the guests at the party were people I knew well and I knew most of them had amble resources to utilize. During speech time my daughter went first, her husband next, and then me. After thanking everyone for coming I talked about the extremely difficult situation this mom was in and if anyone wanted to help in anyway that would be wonderful💜
What happened next took me totally by surprise. While I was talking every single person at the party avoided any eye contact with me. When I was finished talking and the party resumed for a period of time people avoided talking to me. I was totally blown away by the avoidant behavior of the guests. I was shocked that not one person came up to me after my speech to offer any possible support or make any comment at all. I felt disappointed and sad.
The next day I was talking to one of my friends about this experience. She has two sons with ample clothing and shoes the same sizes of this mom’s kids. Without hesitation she said she would go through her sons clothes, wash and clean anything that needed it, and get it to me. She only buys high end items for her kids and they actually keep their clothes and shoes in great shape. WOW🎉 I felt so happy, joyous, and filled with love❤️
Human behavior is a strong indication of how people feel emotionally. Research about human behavior can detect how people are feeling emotionally. Lie detectors have a high level of accuracy because our bodies have reactions when we are lying or uncomfortable with what we are saying and what really happened. People at this party were perhaps uncomfortable of being reminded there are people who are struggling or the fact that they were not offering any assistance, or both.
We all are crew on planet earth. Every single, solitary one of us is connected in some way, shape, or form. Perhaps in our world we can feel removed and that the problems this mother is experiencing is not our problem, not our concern. Yet in reality it is somehow connected to us, somehow our problem, somehow our concern. It is also our opportunity to help. In the game of Jenga the structure becomes more unstable as you remove more pieces. It is only when every piece is present that the structure is strong and complete.
Every single day, every moment of every day, provides an opportunity of kindness to others. It does not have to be monetary or grand. It just can happen. Opening a door, a friendly smile, buying coffee for the person behind you if you have the money, might seem small and of little value. Truth be told we do not know the difference this moment can make for someone else. A seemingly small gesture can make a huge impact on someone else’s life.
Today I shared with my generous friend that when this mom received the wonderful clothes and shoes for her sons she sobbed and told my friend the therapist that this kindness restored her faith in the good in the world. My friend who donated the clothing and shoes is going through significant struggles with her eldest son. To hear the impact her kindness did for someone else was something she needed greatly, to help restore her faith in the good in the world❤️
Magnificent people take wondrous care of yourselves! You are needed, you matter❤️ Thank you for being you and for bringing your you to the world💞
Here is a beautiful Ted Talk any Louie Schwartzberg to enjoy😊