Hate is defined as intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury in the Merriam-Webster dictionary.

Recently this feeling (as hate is a feeling) seems directed towards so many people. If you listen and watch what is going on in the world there is so much hate. People have become skilled at justifying their hate, dislike, sense of loathing towards others.

If we strongly don’t like another person, or group, we might hate them and feel it is perfectly acceptable because our personal beliefs and values make it understandable to hate. That somehow what we feel and believe makes us a better person.

How is that so?

Hate has a variety of degrees from hating the weather to extremist groups who hate another group. Belittling, criticizing, mocking, gossiping are degrees of hate. When you are putting someone else down your mouth and brain are forming the words and speaking them.

Hate is growing. People seem to be more divided, more fearful, angry, hateful.  We quickly dismiss or discharge people from our life who don’t totally agree with us.

Guess what everybody. Hate begins with US.

If you detest and hate someone or something that hate is coming from within you and resides in you. It is part of the fiber of your being and each breath you take.  As Buddha said it is truly like taking poison intended for someone else and injecting it into your soul.

It seems part of the problem is our unhappiness with ourselves.

Do you want to be living your life with hate, meanness, unkind words and actions residing in you? Or do you live your life feeling acceptance, love, happiness within you?

This problem of hate has two dimensions. One is the feelings of unhappiness that exists within us. The other is our feelings of unhappiness we spew at the world around us.

Seems like we hold the power and influence to change both. To love and be kinder to ourselves and to others at the same time. There is an unlimited supply of love to be had for ourselves and for others. There is enough food and material goods for everyone.

We can be agents of change.

Every single human being is born in a pretty similar way. An egg and sperm connect, grow in a female’s belly until the time comes to make an entrance into the world.

We are born with hearts, brains, bones, and blood. Everyone needs oxygen, water, food to keep alive. If you think about it if we could not see anyone’s exterior parts we would all look a like in the inside.

People are not born with any hate or loathing of themselves or others. There are no cells or DNA that have hate imbedded into them. We are taught by the world around us. Our experiences and exposure can cause multiple insecurities within us. The messages we are taught impact the way we view other people in the world.

What are your voices in your head saying about you? About others?

Our thought patterns have created thinking habits in our brains. Research reports it takes 66 days to develop a consistent new way of thinking, feeling, being. ONLY 66 days! It does require repetition and being thoughtful about your words and actions.  It does require effort. Change can occur.

How does this happen? You begin by using strength based, positive self-talk EVERYDAYThrow the criticism out the door. Everyone has flaws and imperfections.You have some too. Change the words you speak about yourself. Change the words you speak about others.

EVERYDAY say positive things about yourself.

EVERYDAY practice gratitude and kindness to others.

As Michael Jackson said “If you want to make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make a change”.

An incredible opportunity is being presented to you. To trust that you will might love yourself all the more. To dig deep inside and work to change for the better. An experience rich with potential and possibility of also better understanding the people and world we live in.

Oziem Cekic does an amazing TED talk titled“Why I have coffee with people who send me hate mail”. One of the most incredible statement she made is quoting her friend, Sergeot Uzan, who lost his son in a terrorist attack on a Jewish Synagogue. Sergio rejected any suggestion of revenge and said“Evil can only be defeated by kindness between people. Kindness demands courage”.

You matter. When you bring your original, magnificent you to the world everyone benefits.  Everyone has something good to share and give. Just think about what this world would be like if we all became champions and cheerleaders to ourselves and each other. If we embraced differences with listening, learning, and compassion.

Sergeot is right.  Kindness demands courage. To put fear to the side, to trust and be kind to one another. To be kind to ourselves.

I am all in on this. I promise to be a kinder, more loving person to myself and to everyone in the world around me.  I vow every day to put more love, kindness, compassion and understanding into my daily life.

Want to join me?