Urban dictionaries definition of a silver lining is “that every difficulty or setback that causes harm, also contains a potential for a beneficent outcome. By searching for any positive effects of any difficulty or confusing circumstance, we can begin to feel more inner peace in response to the situation, thus regaining our ability to solve it if we can, or accept it if we can’t.”
Last week I wrote about three friends who are going through unexpected significant health issues. This past week one friend had lumbar decompression surgery to remove swollen impingements that were placing pressure on her spinal nerves. A quirky event had happened to her on September 12th. It was not a fall or an accident. Since that day she had been in excruciating pain, had a fallen left foot, and had lost mobility on her left side. To put it mildly it was really bad.
Prior to this event for the past two years she has been experiencing a plethora of deep, dark difficulties in her life. Some were with her kids, some was her job, her car broke down, her water heater broke, her house air conditioner broke for starters. She began to change. She is one of my closest friends and I saw her retreat into her self to just keep going, to keep afloat. She had an edge and emptiness. She did not want to talk about some of the things going on as it was too painful for her. I changed how I was her friend even though it was hard for me, it was the right thing to do for her. Sometimes when we love someone we need to do what is best for them. I did that for her.
My friend has been home since the day after her surgery and we have talked every day. I work in an environment with lots of people so due to COVID19 so I will limit my time in visiting and helping. That is totally okay. What the best gift, the silver lining to this health issue for my friend, is I see her coming back.
Since after the surgery I have seen a friend who has her energy and spark back. She is still in pain, yet it’s a different pain. They are not sure if the nerve damage will permanently affect her ability to walk or move her foot (she was able to move her toes yesterday – woohoo). She is happy, she is grateful, she is letting her sons help her, she is letting her friends help her. FYI she does NOT let people help her and literally will do anything and everything herself. Did I mention gratitude? She is so grateful to her surgeon and other medical staff who helped her. She is grateful to her family, friends, being able to walk without extensive pain. This friend NEVER follows medical advice or instruction. This time she is. She said what happened scared her because she did not know if she would be able to walk again. There is uncertainty about what will happen to her physically in her healing and gaining mobility with her left leg and foot. Despite that my friend is happy, hopeful and willing to do the work to get her health back.
“Only in the darkness can you see the stars” Martin Luther King Jr.
I do not believe that things happen for a reason. I have seen too many horrific things happen to innocents like children and other vulnerable people. I do believe when stressful, horrific situations occur there are gifts, silver linings, stars of light that come in those moments as well.
Sometimes it can be incredibly difficult to see the silver lining when there are dark cloudy sky’s. It can be really hard. When those other intense situations were happen to my friend there were silver linings going on. I saw them. She saw them too. Yet to her none of her silver linings were “good enough”. It was not what she thought should be happening so she would not be grateful for any of her good. What just happened to her changed that.
Dear cherished person be good and kind to yourself. If you have challenge’s you are facing look for your good, your silver linings. They are always there even though it can be difficult to see them. We all have silver linings to help us heal and give us hope. Yours are there too.
May your silver linings be with you💜